Maclean & Maclean

MacLean & MacLean.
were two of my best customers and best friends for 5 years or so.
when they would come to Ontario I would go around and sing with them(or maybe against them - they were always amazed at how bad I truly was)I was the Lobsterman and sang the ancient lobster song. It was great fun and we had many adventures.
On Sundays my bar was invitation only and everything was free. I would cook my famous seafood chowder and we would invite who ever was in town for a massive jam session like Burton Cummings and Murray McLaughlin for example. the McLean's would always bar tend and it was great fun. When I closed my bar McLean's Invited me to Winnipeg for a couple of weeks. they said you have been so good to us we are going to treat you the way you have treated us.
"You mean you're going to charge me $3.50 a drink I asked."

My career with the MacLean's ended because Of Billy Joel. The MacLean's were playing the El Macombo and as I was coming up to do my song late in the last set. I saw Billy Joel and his band storm in to a reserved table.(He had been playing maple leaf gardens)
I sang it thus
I met a jolly fisherman down by the sea
Have you a lobster you can sell to me?
'Singing row tiddly over fart or bust
never let your bollocks dangle in the dust'
So I took the lobster home and couldn't find a dish.
so I put it in the pot where the missus has a piss.
'Singing row tiddly over fart or bust
never let your bollocks dangle in the dust'
In the middle of the night I heard a grunt
and there was the lobster hanging from her "front'
'Singing row tiddly over fart or bust
never let your bollocks dangle in the dust'
So I grabs a brush and the missus grabs a broom
And we chased that bloody lobster round and round the room
'Singing row tiddly over fart or bust
never let your bollocks dangle in the dust'
We hit it on the head and hit it on the side.
We hit that bloody lobster until the bastard died.
'Singing row tiddly over fart or bust
never let your bollocks dangle in the dust'
the moral to the story is very plain to see
always have a look see before you have a pee.
'Singing row tiddly over fart or bust
never let your bollocks dangle in the dust'
that is the end there is no more.
there is an apple up me asshole and Billy Joel can have the core.

The MacLean's looked askance they had no idea Billy Joel was in the audience.
After the show Billy Joel and band came to the dressing room and the El Mo supplied cases of Heineken's and we partied on into the night.
Billy Joel raved about the act but all he could remember was me. He thought I was really part of the act rather than just a guest.
I was never again asked back to sing with the MacLean's.
Even years later I would go to see them and they would say do the lobsterman and it just wouldn't happen. I never sang with them again They denied this but it is my story and I am sticking to it.