Murray McLauchlan New York

I invited Murray to come to New York with me for the July 4th weekend and the tall ships. I had to fly down to pick up the van for the SORC sailboat Bonaventure V. The boat was racing in the Onion Patch in Bermuda and coming into New York to go up the Hudson River and Erie Canal etc. back to Toronto and they wanted me to drive the van back. Besides July the 4th is my birthday and where else to celebrate? An added goody was an invitation from the Canadian Norwegian ambassador to have a sail on the Christian Radich. (This was compliments of my sister who worked at harbor-front in Toronto) we were using Murray's agent to book tickets. The trip got complicated, my bartender Laura wanted to go home to New York so I got a ticket for her and then Krash's girlfriend wanted to go to meet Krash who was sailing to New York, so I got a ticket for her. We no sooner were in the air than somebody phoned Murray's wife and told her Murray and Gary were going to New York with 2 women. (this caused serious problems) After much ado we got a hotel room and I went to pick up the van for transportation. As it happened I got a free parking spot around the corner from the Hotel. In New York on July4th weekend etc etc. so we never moved the van until we left and took cabs. Laura took us to her old studio and the bar she used to work at. It was right at the Manhattan side of the Brooklin Bridge which is a great place to hang out. This was beside the Fulton fish Market which was having a fair so we ended up spending the evening at the fair. Spending was the operative word for Murray he went a little crazy. One of the Hanky Panks had a life-sized stuffed bear as a grand prize. Murray decided he had to have it. After about 5 hours and 5 hundred dollars he finally won it. So there we were 2 o clock in the morning going back to the Hotel trying to stuff this giant bear toy into the cab. It wouldn't fit so after 15 minutes of trying Murray took a long look at the bear and said What the hell do I want with this and threw it on the street. As we
drove off the streets were empty.

So on the fourth, we went to see the fireworks

We get a cab he goes to The Battery but all the cars just stop in the road and he can go no further. he stoops gets out No charge lets go and see the fireworks. Street entrepreneurs have emptied the garbage bins and filled them with ice and selling beer. we buy a dozen and walk towards the grandstands set upon the banks of the Hudson. Some guy says "don’t pay follow me!" We go through a hole in the fence and walk through a swamp path of tall bulrushes etc. (thinking this is New York what are we doing?) But we come out on the best spot to watch the fireworks. We are right opposite the Statue of Liberty and the barges. The fireworks were spectacular and then for the finale a huge helicopter towed a monster flag up the Hudson and spontaneously 6 million people start singing The Star spangled Banner' It was something Murray and I actually cracked our heads together grabbing a beer and quickly chugalugging it to try and stop the chills up the spine.

WEIRDOS

funny I watched the movie Weirdos It takes place on July 4th 1976.

Nova Scotia. 1976. It's the weekend of the American Bicentennial and 15-year-old Kit is running away from home. Enlisting the help of his girlfriend Alice, Kit hitchhikes through the stunning maritime landscape towards a new home with his glamorous, artistic mother Laura in Sydney.  Kit struggles with his sexual identity as his mother wishes to go to New York and meet Andy Warhol. the last scene is a dance sequence to Murray Mclauchlan singing Down by Henry Moore. On that Day Murray and I were in new york city

Maclean & Maclean

MacLean & MacLean.
were two of my best customers and best friends for 5 years or so.
when they would come to Ontario I would go around and sing with them(or maybe against them - they were always amazed at how bad I truly was)I was the Lobsterman and sang the ancient lobster song. It was great fun and we had many adventures.
On Sundays my bar was invitation only and everything was free. I would cook my famous seafood chowder and we would invite who ever was in town for a massive jam session like Burton Cummings and Murray McLaughlin for example. the McLean's would always bar tend and it was great fun. When I closed my bar McLean's Invited me to Winnipeg for a couple of weeks. they said you have been so good to us we are going to treat you the way you have treated us.
"You mean you're going to charge me $3.50 a drink I asked."

My career with the MacLean's ended because Of Billy Joel. The MacLean's were playing the El Macombo and as I was coming up to do my song late in the last set. I saw Billy Joel and his band storm in to a reserved table.(He had been playing maple leaf gardens)
I sang it thus
I met a jolly fisherman down by the sea
Have you a lobster you can sell to me?
'Singing row tiddly over fart or bust
never let your bollocks dangle in the dust'
So I took the lobster home and couldn't find a dish.
so I put it in the pot where the missus has a piss.
'Singing row tiddly over fart or bust
never let your bollocks dangle in the dust'
In the middle of the night I heard a grunt
and there was the lobster hanging from her "front'
'Singing row tiddly over fart or bust
never let your bollocks dangle in the dust'
So I grabs a brush and the missus grabs a broom
And we chased that bloody lobster round and round the room
'Singing row tiddly over fart or bust
never let your bollocks dangle in the dust'
We hit it on the head and hit it on the side.
We hit that bloody lobster until the bastard died.
'Singing row tiddly over fart or bust
never let your bollocks dangle in the dust'
the moral to the story is very plain to see
always have a look see before you have a pee.
'Singing row tiddly over fart or bust
never let your bollocks dangle in the dust'
that is the end there is no more.
there is an apple up me asshole and Billy Joel can have the core.

The MacLean's looked askance they had no idea Billy Joel was in the audience.
After the show Billy Joel and band came to the dressing room and the El Mo supplied cases of Heineken's and we partied on into the night.
Billy Joel raved about the act but all he could remember was me. He thought I was really part of the act rather than just a guest.
I was never again asked back to sing with the MacLean's.
Even years later I would go to see them and they would say do the lobsterman and it just wouldn't happen. I never sang with them again They denied this but it is my story and I am sticking to it.

Roy Payne

I first met Roy at the Horseshoe in the summer of 75
The horseshoe was across the street I was a regular and a good friend of Morty Starr the manager. Morty pointed to Roy setting up on stage. Morty told me that Roy owed him 3000 dollars so he had hired him for the whole month of August so he could get his money back. He told the waiter and the bartender not to let Roy have anything to drink until the last half of the show that night.
Morty went off to the office. I was sitting in a booth opposite the bar with Morgan Vice who was leader of the usual house band. suddenly I felt something grab my ankle. it was Roy he had crawled under all the empty booths going back to the stage so that Morty or the Bartender couldn't see him.
Get me a beer bye he croaked. I ordered him a beer and we became fast friends.
He was at my bar pretty well every night for the month.
At the end of the month Morty told me Roy owed him 6,000 dollars.
One night Roy found a water pistol somewhere and squirted me with it. I had the superior weapon an old fashioned pressurized seltzer bottle. I chased him all around the club finally cornering him behind the bar, in desperation he turned to face me unrolling a sheets of paper towel to hide behind.. Of course the seltzer bottle blew the soggy towels right into his face and stuck there like a soaked mime, which had all in the bar howling with laughter.
Roy knew every country singer. I met Billy Joe Shaver through Roy. Hanging out with Roy was an experience He would write songs on the go all night long . He wrote a pretty good song about a Drink menu one night.
Most radio listeners today (outside of Newfoundland, at least) probably haven’t heard of Roy Payne or his music. It’s their loss…the man was indeed a ‘character’… ahead of his time.
Larry Delaney
Roy Payne photo by Barb Blanchard / CMN


Roy Absalom Payne was born in Trout River, NL. He was raised by grandparents, served 12 years in the Canadian army, and was a truck driver amongst other odd jobs before making music his full-time vocation. All the while, Roy would write songs about his life experiences. I Wouldn't Take A Million Dollars For A Single Maple Leaf was written as he stepped off the plane from his last army trip to Egypt. Marriage breakdown, booze, and drug excesses were all great inspirations for Roy Payne's thirst in songwriting. While his recording career speaks for itself it's the lifestyle that surrounded it that probably says more. Roy Payne was a staple at the famed Horseshoe Club in Toronto, but the hard living and the rat race took its toll. He survived the loss of a lung which was a wake-up call. "I was getting on in life. The smog in Toronto was tough to deal with. I was using three puffers at a time to breathe. I needed some clean air." Roy moved up north and hasn't looked back since. "It's the best place for me this side of the Rock. I love it here. I can breathe. Down to one puffer every two weeks or so. I fish. I pedal a bike 15k every day. I write songs. What more could a man my age ask for?"
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Hunter S. Thompson

Hunter S. Thompson was a guest on the Peter Czowski show the same night as Tom Waits. Somebody from the show gave a special party for Hunter and I was invited as a special guest for some reason too. I got to sit beside Hunter on Large chesterfield in front of a long coffee table. Tom Waits was on the other side. I had a camera bag full of cold mini Henkel Trokens and we sipped those Hunter also had a large glass of Wild Turkey. We smoked some dope and watched as every newcomer to the party came up to Hunter to say hello and give him something. I couldn't believe the variety. Acid ,speed, tranks, quaaluds ups downs whatever. he just said thanks and popped them in to his mouth whatever it was. I swear he took everyone. later I remember talking to Tom Waites, he was just as amazed as I was. Hunter was staying at the Windsor Arms and kept checking there for messages to Dr Thompson. As the party wound down and pretty well emptied out. he looked at me and said. What will we do now? I said lets go to my bar I'm good till seven in the morning or so. Ok he sighed but WHAT will I do then? Thats when I knew I was in trouble.

Bob Markle

Markle was a facinating guy. It was fun to be friends with Bob. there was always good conversation. He was always interesting.He wasn't exactly a snob but he did not suffer fools.He of course received notoriety for his erotic paintings.and he played in the Artists jazz Band. he once wrote an article on his favourite dish the Hot Hamburger Sandwich with French Fries and peas.
This led to a discussion with me about seafood.
He had never eaten seafood? Never eaten a Lobster?
About 5 years later I get a phone call at a bar
Gary, Gary. I just ate a lobster and you were right it's wonderful.

How I met Markle 1965

Markle looked like  kind of a slob (he only wore blue jeans and navy sweatshirt and often rubber boots. But he  was brilliant, wonderful, witty  and  sort of a snob.

Markle sort of held court at the Pilot. At 5 he would appear and sit in these funny little corners at the Pilot Tavern either side. The pilot had benches along each wall with tables for four and 2 chairs outside. But at the entrance there was a sort of cul de sac on each side of the stairs that they made into a seat like a mini throne. Markle always sat there and woe be on them that took his seat. The inner circle sat up that side on that day. The Pilot was always very dark at any time of day. Strangers were made uncomfortable and soon moved on. I came in as a stranger and was made unwelcome. But I wanted to be an Artist and persevered and sat off on the fringe trying my best to get any drift of the conversations. I vaguely remember words like ‘ramifications’  that sent me running for a dictionary.  But I lingered on the fringe. One thing I knew for certain if I was going to get into this Artist World I would have to be accepted by Markle.

Then one night I drifted into the Pilot at ten o clock. The 5 o clock crowd long gone a new crowd I knew not. I sat and ordered a beer waiting for my eyes to get used to gloom.

Strangers on the thrones, Strangers everywhere. I finally looked north and there was Markle sitting on the bench two tables up. Across from him was somebody vaguely familiar. Jesus! he was sitting with Bob Dylan WOW!  I dared not approach and merely nodded as our eyes met.

The next day Bob came in telling everybody about bringing Bob Dylan here the night before. He was having a hard job convincing anybody and he saw me and waved me over. You were here tell them. I confirmed and story and Bob and were friends everafter and that is how I got into the Artist scene at the old Pilot Tavern.

Eric Idle

Trish Cullen brought Eric Idle to my bar. After quaffing a few beers he made a trip to the washroom and commented on the Graffiti. My washroom walls actually had some pretty choice sayings and was worth a read. As he was leaving I gave him a marker and asked if he would care to write something before he left. After he left we rushed in to see what words a pythoner would leave us.
'nefas alica sceptrum"
stood out on the wall - "Mispelling Rules"

Richard Hatfield

Premier Hatfield showed up for a party at my bar one night. It was for a record release party or some such thing for Rough Trade. Jack Backstrom was managing them and had made a deal with me to have the party there. It didn't mean I closed or anything. for the most part my patrons were the type of people you wanted at a musicians party. It was basically a gay party but sexual orientation didn't matter to me. I chatted with Richard for awhile he was a charming man and seemed to be enjoying himself.

The story takes a twist several years later when I ran into the Ontario ex-minister of Justice at the Press club. We were having a few and he proceeded to tell his side of the story. How he had to work all night with his staff keeping all the various police forces and departments away from my bar so Richard wouldn't accidentally get busted.We compared notes and had a few laughs over this night.

Roy Buchanan

Roy Buchannan sort of hit me the wrong way. It seems everytime I met him he was very very stoned. the first night I met him he came across from the Horseshoe. where he got top dollar. $10,000.00 for the night. as it happened I had a stage set up with drums and sound system. In a moment of madness I thought I would let musicians play for free drinks. this is a bad idea musicians being musicians and my main source of income. So I had put a stop to it. Roy come in for the first time looks around flushed with success and being very friendly and generous says. "Hey man me and the boys will play for free beer!
" I never met a musician that wouldn't I say walking off in the general direction of away.

the New York Dolls

The New York Dolls were playing the Victory theatre for 2 weeks. They came to my bar every night. they came with a first a phone call to meet there limo at the door. I don't know how they heard of my place. They breezed in like they owned the place. they pushed their way to the front of the line at the bar. Big shots from New York. then they met my marvelous bartender Laura.
Laura was also from New York. In minutes she had their attention and respect and they meekly got in line like everyone else.
On their last night they were really celebrating they were a big success. I meet the limo at the door to whisk them in still glittering. In the crowd is a wino. I stop him and the band says he is with them. No way I say. Apparently the limo just about ran over him. They beg plead to buy him a couple of drinks, they are exuberant and flushed with success and celebrating. So just once I relent. Big Mistake. Soon wino is bouncing off the walls shadowboxing at everybody and yelping too. The band apologizes, I escort him out.
He hammers at my door for awhile, then screams police at the top of his voice at 3:am.
I go out flag a cab and send him to Baldies club in cabbage town.

Lance Bennett

Lance rented a room up stairs as well.
he caused one of the biggest problems at my club.
Rita
Lance met this girl Rita at some gig someplace.
In a moment of lust or maddness he gave out our (MY) phone number.
she phones Lance he tells me to say he is not here never.
I say Lance moved
she says who is this?
Gary I say.
 I had never met or laid eyes on this person, She phoned me at least once a day everyday for four years.
I tried everything, I begged, I threatened, I got the police to call her.
I put the phone in front of loud speakers. I fed painful feedback into phone.
I had Maclean and MacLean swear at her for hours.
I couldn't change my phone number because too many out of town people had it.
Then I didn't hear from her for a week or so.
then one morning about nine o clock (I got to bed at 7) Phone rings
Gary I'm in the hospital.
HUh what happened.
My boyfriend beat me up. And now he is coming to get you!
what? who is this? I realize and SCREAM RITA No! slam down phone.
then I moved.

Ian Tyson

I had known Ian for a bunch years and he was a good friend of Morgan Vice who lived in one of my upstairs rooms. (Only musicians could live above an afterhours club) Ian was going through a rough time when his marriage was breaking up and spent a lot of time in the bar and Morgans place. One night Gary MacLean comes by. The Macleans had started as the folk group the vicious circle and Gary was a big fan of Ian's. SoI told him Ian was there. He was very excited to meet him and when I couldn't find him I led Gary up to Morgans room. The door was open and in the dimly lit room Ian was passed out on the floor. what could I do. "Ian Tyson, meet "Gary MacLean, "Gary Maclean, meet Ian Tyson.'
Gary bent down, "jesus he said That is Ian Tyson."
(sorry Ian it was a longtime ago)

Some weeks later Ian came in with Christine Wookie. He was smoozing and I got into a long talk with Christine. We hit it off pretty well in a friend like fashion and she asked me why I was running a place like this. And I said i wanted to buy a sailboat. "Thats all you want" heck we got a 70 foot sailboat that nobody has used in a couple of years if thats all you want why not.......
At that moment Ian grabbed her and whisked her out the door. WWait a minute I holler. we will be back sys Ian says and is gone. Of course I never saw her again.
I wonder how that would have finished.

Burton Cummings

Gary Maclean introduced me to Burton. He brought him to my after-hours Bar. .he often sang with MacLean and Maclean. 

Burton was amazing with the MacLeans, Gary and Blair had good voices too, and harmonized wonderfully. One night the Knob Hill was so impressed they tipped a whole case of Dom Perigon. We had a party that night. Burton wrote a couple of the Macleans songs including Their theme song'Fuck Ya"(I sang the lobster song with the Macleans when Burton wasn't singing) 

Burton spent many nights in my kitchen singing with the Macleans and Murray Mclauchlan and whoever else was around.The funniest moment is Burton comes into my bar one night trying to be cool and quiet. plugs a quarter in the Jukebox just as 'AMERICAN WOMAN" came on full blast. Everybody jeered and pointed as he cried I didn't play it! I didn't play it! Burton and I had a bit of a falling out and I have had backstage passes to his show and he wouldn't see me.But that was long ago and I hope that is all forgotten.

Donny Walsh

One year Murray MacLauclan gave me a very expensive and huge Chromatic Harmonica for Xmas. I hung out with all these musicians and tried desperately to learn the banjo or guitar or even ukulele. I was hopeless in a mostly tone deaf way. Murray thought I might learn this as I didn't have to tune it. Donny Walsh saw it sitting on my bar one night and picked it up and gave it a toot. "Hey I always wanted to try one of these can I borrow it? sure I says. I will bring it back next week he promises. so I dont see him for a month or two. Where is my harmonica? "I broke it he says. that slide thing just fell off in my hands. Hmm so I forget about it until I see him at a concert. Not only is he playing my chromatic Harmonica he has a big leather holster made for it. it took me few years to find this funny.

Gordon Tootoosis

The rule for my bar was either I knew you personally or you were famous or you didn't get into the bar.
There was a knock on my door one night and there stood Gordon. You don't know me he says I am Gordon Tootoosis. I look blank. Johnny Yesno told me about your place. I still look askance. "I am an actor" he says "and a good actor too." "I can play ANY tribe." I had to let him in after that.
Gordon and were drinking buddies for a while after that.

Leon Rebone

Leon came to the bar a few times
So a fan says "Hey aren't you Leon Redbone?'
"Why 'says Leon arching an eyebrow"Do I owe you any money?"